The Lonesome Artist
The security on this computer was apparently lifted last night, and Jester left a list of addresses for me. I’ve read it all.
Karen. All of this was about Karen.
So who is she?
Grace and I…. when we were little, our parents separated. Our dad was Magro. He wasn’t on very friendly terms with our mother, but she still let him visit us sometimes. Whenever he came over, he would immediately hug Grace. Always Grace. I was merely an afterthought. He brought presents for Grace. He never brought them for me. As far as he was concerned, Grace was his only child.
But whenever he came over, Grace didn’t act like herself. She as like that sometimes. She’d act differently, and insist that her name was Karen, and then, after a few hours, she’d be Grace again. Mother and I would ask her about Karen, but she’d just look confused and ask us “Who’s Karen?” I think dad knew. To this day, I don’t know if it was Grace or Karen who was his favorite.
When we were about eight, back in around 1989, Karen stopped appearing. At the time, we weren’t sure what had happened, though mom and me had figured out that it was an alternate personality. But mom decided to just let the issue drop. She told me never to bring the issue up again, since she didn’t want to upset Grace. Life went on.
Two years ago, I met Karen again. I was visiting Grace, and we were in the middle of talking about something when suddenly she just gave the strangest look. Like she didn’t know who I was. And then she smiled and said “Hello Derek. How are you?” I was, obviously, confused. We were in the middle of a conversation, after all. And then, I asked, very cautiously, “am I still speaking to Grace?”
She said no.
She told me that her name was no longer Karen. That she hated that name now. She sort of looked down at herself, and… well, she seemed sad.
Transgenderism. Karen hated being a girl. As she grew, she had realized that she identified herself more as a boy (and from this point on, I’ll respect his wishes and refer to him as a male, he is, after all, my brother, in a way). He changed his name to Kevin.
We had a long talk, Kevin and I, and he asked me if I remembered Mr. Motley. Of course I did, he was Karen’s imaginary friend when we were little. Kevin shook his head and told me to be careful. That Mr. Motley was real, and that no one refuses him.
And then he asked me not to mention this to Grace. I agreed.
How did I not make the connection between Jester and Mr. Motley sooner? It’s obvious now. This is Jester’s revenge against Karen. His revenge for Karen refusing to leave with him.
Grace, I’m sorry I never told you. I was worried. I’m sorry. But please, stop following the trail. Let me die, just stay away. Don’t give that bastard what he wants.